The Wisdom of Courage – making courageous choices

Guest blog post – The Wisdom of Courage

I couldn’t be who I am without those I admire who lead me in faith. One of those incredible people is my mom, who never stops teaching anyone around her how much courage is possible when faith meets fear head on. Today, it is she who will share with you the wisdom of courage and the power within us all to make courageous choices. It. Is my hope that she will bless you with her wisdom in this blog post as she has blessed me all my life. Enjoy. ❤️

Bravery is different

It’s not about being brave you know.  It’s really about being courageous.  I’ve been brave.  I do brave.  Courage is a different beast altogether.  Allow me to explain.

Bravery is not about the fear you feel before you act like a brave person.  I would argue, in fact, that bravery and fear are not even connected.  I believe bravery is a quality we have or we don’t.  Some of us have moments when we are brave, some us live it everyday.  Bravery, to me, is ultimately about the confidence one has to stand up for and act upon what is right and true.  Brave acts are more about confidence than fear.   

Courage, however, walks hand in hand with fear.  It has been said that there isn’t any courage if there isn’t any fear.  It’s true.  It takes more effort and energy, for me anyway, to be courageous.  It’s a lot of conversations in my head, arguments back and forth about what to do and when to do it and whether or not to do it at all.  But once the choice has been made, courage moves me forward.  It gets me out of bed.  It makes me do hard things.  It makes me face the truth.  It gets my feet back under me when I fall down, over and over and over again. 

I do not naturally go looking to be brave or courageous.  And I had no idea five years ago how God would give me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to be both of these things.  It has been the most difficult season of my life.  I did not go looking to be anyone’s example or inspiration of how to show up and push on when life gets hard.  Yet, because of grace, here I am.  

Being Brave

When I heard my husband gasping my name and banging on the mirrored closet doors, I woke up and stepped into brave mode.  There was a problem to solve.  Practical actions were needed immediately.  I called 911.  I woke up the kids.  I had one of them stay with Dad while I waited for the emergency responders.  Brave me answered questions about his health and the current situation calmly and thoughtfully.  

Brave me drove to the hospital praying for God’s will above my own.  

Brave me sat in a small waiting room with a Catholic priest and a kind doctor.  

Brave me said they could stop trying to save my husband of 28 years.  

Brave me called my children to tell them their dad didn’t make it.  

Brave me asked a friend to bring my kids to the hospital so they could say goodbye.  

Brave me asked for time alone with him and held him and sobbed heaving sobs upon heaving sobs.  

Brave me talked to more doctors, the coroner and emergency personnel.  

Brave me drove us home.

Brave me walked in the house and straightened and picked up what had been moved and left behind by the emergency responders.  

Brave me answered the door 15 minutes later to dear friends who hurt as much as we did.  

Brave me went to church the next day and sat in ‘our’ spot with our children. 

Those first 24 hours were more about bravery than anything else.  It was about doing what I was made to do and being in the moment.  I did not think of how to be brave, I just was.  The thoughts going through my head were clear and purposeful.  “Pay attention”, “respond well”, “do whatever you need to do for you, your family, and those that are hurting”.   My instinct was to be brave.  It was empowering and affirming.  

See also: This is a Kayak, and Today is a Day to Remember

Choosing Courage

Courage, oh courage, is so much more draining. Courage is not instant.  Courage requires a deliberate decision to act.  There are no guarantees with courage.  And, I have found, there are no regrets either.  Pushing through fear, pushing through vulnerable exposure, sometimes pushing throughevery rational thought in your head is not for sissies.  It requires effort, it requires fsaith, it requires strength–but even just a little can accomplish things.

Courageous me started going to a therapist 10 years ago to deal with my past.

Courageous me began to admit my need for help from others and to even ask for it.   

Courageous me drove my daughter to college 2 states away 5 months after her dad died.  

Courageous me got on an airplane for the first time in 20 years to come back home.

Courageous me chose to enjoy my 50th birthday celebration with friends despite the news I heard just hours earlier that my 24 year old son had been diagnosed with cancer.  

Courageous me tells you how much it hurts, how massive waves of uncertainty can rock my world, and how out of order my life is.  

Courageous me asks you to get coffee because we have said ‘good morning’ at church for many months now and I’d just really like to get you know you better.  

Courageous me embraces the messy bits, says yes when you offer to come help me clean for 2 hours, and tells you the truth even if it might sting a bit.

Honestly, bravery is easier.  I’m thrilled to stand my ground and defend my faith, show you how much bigger my heart is with Christ, share with you the joy I’ve found in the middle of what looks like a tragedy, and love you even, and especially when, we don’t agree, look alike, or speak the same language.  

In the end, I find my humanity demands both bravery and courage.  Come to think of it, so does my faith. We may do big brave things or little brave things, big courageous things, or little courageous things.  And what is brave to one of us may be courageous to the other.  The point is that we act, we show up, we take a giant leap or tiny step, we get out of bed, we breathe deep, and we move forward.  And if we lose our balance or our way, we get up again and again and again and take another step on the journey set before us.  And, if we are extraordinarily fortunate, we have a hand to help us up and the opportunity to offer ours in turn.

Thanks for letting me share a few thoughts. 

About the Author

Beth Barthel is a passionate Christian with wisdom and faithfulness like you wouldn’t believe. The writing above is just a small glimpse into her world, a world in which God has allowed great trials to produce great faith and perseverance. She is my first editor, my role model, and my biggest fan. You can read more of her work on her blog, From Ground to Glory.