2020: Three Life Lessons I Will Treasure

Oh, friends. What a year 2020 has been.

I imagine we’ll be reflecting on 2020 for many months to come.

Overwhelmingly, most of us are glad to put 2020 in the past. We think of the loss, the distance, the heartache we’ve experienced. Many think of the stress of quarantine. We imagine all we’ve missed out on and hope deeply that the new date on the calendar marks the start of better things.

Today, though, I’d like you to sit in 2020 with me a little longer. I’d like to suggest we change the narrative – that we think of how much growth has taken place in the midst of this wildly unpredictable year instead of how much grief we’ve shared together. It’s important to feel that grief and it’s important to continuing sharing it, processing it, and mulling over all that we’ve experienced. But just for a few moments, set it aside. Just for a few minutes as you read, reflect on what we’ve learned (or re-learned) this year that will change us all forever.

Three Life Lesson I’m Treasuring

I wanted to write a big long list of things I’ve learned this year. I wanted to give you “15 Amazing Things We Can Take Away from 2020”. To inspire your socks off. But when I paused to make sure my writing came from a place of passion and purpose, there are three things I will absolutely treasure, though there are many more for which I am grateful.

2020 Lesson #1: Big goals are achievable.

This year, I’ve heard so many success stories of weight loss, freedom from debt, house purchases, and many other incredible things. Big goals were achieved this year.

My husband and I dreamed of the house we might one day own since before we were married. We were newlyweds as we completed our senior year of college, and as my husband completed his master’s degree in teaching, we only had one income until the fall of 2019. It was then we started believing that our homeownership dreams could become a reality in the near future.

Enter COVID-19 just a few months later.

We were blessed with secure jobs and though our teaching responsibilities changed wildly, our financial resources did not. In fact, we saved on gas money by the work-from-home requirements. We saved on food by eating out less. I wasn’t commuting an hour a day, so we saved on coffee runs too.

We budgeted and saved and checked our accounts every week. Then, we were preapproved for a home loan in May 2020. Our first HUGE step toward meeting the goal of moving into a new home before September!

Shopping for homes is never easy, and it isn’t particularly enjoyable either. The COVID restrictions meant scheduling tours were limited, and Caleb and I could never go into a house at the same time – only two people were allowed and one had to be the real estate agent (which, really, is a little funny looking back). Some days we saw five houses or more. Some weeks we needed a break and didn’t look at any houses for days. We received all sorts of advice that constantly twisted our feelings about money and homeownership and the timing of everything.

But the life lesson learned here is that big goals are achievable – and after a blessedly-short six weeks of searching, we bought a home so beautiful we couldn’t believe it.

We were overjoyed to share our new home with my immediate family this holiday season, and I remembered another hugely important life lesson I (re-)learned in 2020.

Lesson #2: Family is precious.

Friends, I know many families were separated during the difficult season of COVID-19 affecting our ability to gather. I know family members were lost to the virus itself. I know many of us learned how precious family was this year.

But the stay-at-home orders were a blessing in some ways for many of us too. Caleb and I could teach from home, so we were able to spend the last few weeks of my brother’s life in California with my family. It was such a special time to be together.

He battled cancer for four miserable years and fought bravely till the very end. As the days went by, my brother’s health dwindled, and he needed care nearly 24/7. Because of COVID, we were able to support my family both mentally and physically.

2020 also taught me how essential it is to know and love my spouse completely. We grew so much together through everything we experienced – and we talked more honestly about our feelings than ever before because there was no avoiding it.

Caleb and I learned about each other in ways that we might never have explored if we didn’t have to stay home so much. We re-evaluated what was important in our marriage, let go of some petty arguments, and renewed our sense of enjoyment in the simplicity of being together.

Lesson #3: I am enough already.

This may be the most important thing I learned in 2020 (and am still struggling to remember some days).

I am enough already.

I started therapy this year, for the first time in a long time. Video appointments made it easier to take the plunge and get myself talking to a professional again. And unfortunately – she caught onto me pretty quickly.

She told me that a large portion of my anxiety comes from the underlying belief that I am not good enough. With demanding expectations from teaching, new homeowner responsibilities, a stress-out husband also drowning in work, and trying to start a family this year – I told myself the lie that I wasn’t good enough in some way nearly every day.

But then, during one of our recent sessions, she said something I will never forget: “You woke up. You got out of bed. Congratulations, you’re enough.“

I scrunched my face or fidgeted and she definitely noticed, because then she said, “How do you feel about that?”

To be honest, it still doesn’t totally sit comfortably with me.

You mean, I’m enough…just by being me? Yes, friend, yes you are.

And I think that’s where I’ll leave you today.

Susannah

P.S. As I continue to explore this 3rd life lesson from 2020 – I am enough already – here’s what’s on my reading list! Have you read any of these books before? Have you read anything else that reminds you how loved you are? Let me know in the comments or join me on social media!!

Books to Remind Me That I Am Enough Already

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